Friends and Allies

Friends, colleagues, family, coaches, mentors, sponsors (the list goes on, and on) … they form our social support structure. Give us strength, encouragement, help and praise / criticize. But, stopping for a moment and asking oneself, ‘why are they doing this?’

It seems that these human support elements come in two flavors, and it’s important to know the difference.

Transactional

What seems self-evident in hindsight is that many of those people are in the role transactionally – only if they expect something in return. There is either an implied or explicit ‘quid pro quo’.

Genuine

Genuine folks is non-transactional. They are there most likely either out of a) human compassion and respect for your human-ness, or b) a shared, communal purpose larger than any individual (ideally working toward a common purpose to better our world).

What to do?

Looking back at my professional career, I hardly recognize a genuine ally. Thinking about my circle of family and friends, there are more genuine allies. Some are a combination as seldom are humans binary. Long-time presence and relationships require genuine shared purpose and compassion – by definition it’s non-transactional.

Take the time to scan your circles – both personal and professional – identify who’s who. It’s not that one changes their outward relationship, but by building awareness between the two types, suprises and disappointments are fewer. And, most importantly, be genuine yourself, regardless …

Photo of wild horses by Goatbells.blog from Lookout Mountain, Ochoco National Forest, Oregon (Resource)